How often it happens that when you share some deep thoughts with your close ones and they do not pay full attention to it. It hurts, does not it? I called one of my school friends last night, and I informed her about my new book and asked her if she has time to sit with me and help me in completing this chapter that revolves around relationships. She said she is Ok with it and we both agreed on the certain date, time and venue. Before we exchange good night, I requested her to check my first eBook and download it.
“How much does it cost?”-she asked.
Well, it is an obvious question anyone would want to know. Some ask it directly on the face, and a few will say, “Yeah, Sure” and might or might not buy after seeing the price tag or the summary of the book. Of course the content should concern their genre.
Her question stimulated so many thoughts,
First, did she even listen when I said, my first e-book. I was expecting the word congratulations.
Second, is worrying about money important while purchasing a book? And that too written by her friend.
Her question (Yeah, Sure) did hurt me. When you are speaking straight, it affects people. It does. So the question here is, how one should feel about getting insulted straight over the face. In my case, it was over the phone.
After disconnecting the phone, I kept thinking about it. After a while, I texted her saying that,
“Please do not feel forced. Buy only if you love reading. I just wanted to make sure that you know about my new venture.”
I felt so relieved to put out my feelings about how she acted on me asking her to buy the book.
The next morning I read from her,
“Hey, I was just kidding. Of course, I am going to read it. After all, you have written it, and I want to know more about you by reading you.”
Amazing it was, was not it? Last night her question offended me, and when I took a step ahead to clear the things in such a decent way, everything turned fine. Like it never happened.
What would happened, if I would not have texted or called her? Or sent her an offensive text. She would have calculated me as a different person.
“People work faster than a calculator when it comes to judge someone.”
Then it would have ended up in a big EGO war. In spite of the fact that yes, at first I felt hurt, I took the phone and cleared things right away. How bigger the deal was?
In our day-to-day life, we meet many people who have different opinions and varied reactions. You cannot make them think and answer the way you do. The best you can do is to listen to their opinion and put your views on the spot, in a much decent way. Alike me, there are many people in this world who listen and do not react at that time. When the moment is passed they suddenly realize what they could have said. I would say better to keep mum and forget the past. However, I am working on this. I am learning to speak at that moment only, and not by the expressions and actions but with my words (as I said, decent words).
For example, once someone said to me,
“You are a Crack.”
“And you are a pot. Hey! Together we are a CRACKPOT.”
It did not offend the person much because a few seconds back they had done the same to me. And my immediate reply put me in a not so shaky place in their eyes.
As on to the matter of elders you cannot showcase your wit skills. There are times when it is better to just accept the truth that they are outspoken and you can do nothing about it but listen. In the worst scenarios, you can just stand up, pass a smile and leave the seat.
If they care enough of what they have just said and come to you, you can calmly put your view on what just happened there, and they must be careful about what they say because eventually it gives the wrong impression to the listeners.
That’s how all the relationships work. At some point one should refuse taking sarcastic jokes and scoffs. Different people have different ways to tackle the situation. Some know the skill of shrewdness and a few just walk away.
I CALL IT SWEET MEDICINE.
And then this other type who screws and then walks away. I salute.
This (21) article marathon tells about the relationship equation any girl should share with the certain people she meets in her life-Parents, Partner, In-Laws, and Relatives. If you learn the trick of when to speak-when to keep mum half of the problem is already solved. However, it is tricky.
“Problem is not the problem you face, problem is when you cannot control or manage the problem.”
It is not tough to clear that what you think and how you want to live. But that should happen in your early life. Giving a thought to all the things after marriage will take you nowhere but to either separation or Insipidness. Well, you are lucky if you have supportive family. Principally, at some point, gradually, married women surrender their dreams and perception. We will talk about that also in one of our next blogs. For girls, it is very important to know what you want and how to make it-the sooner you know better you go.
Including this introductory part I am going to post 21 posts in 21 days and together we all will try to see the life differently. Let’s say, how does it feel to be JUST ME?
Comments and Views are always welcome.